Can you remember a time when you were really little? Maybe you were 3 or 4 years old. You had simple needs. You just wanted to play and have others play with you. You wanted some comfort and to feel loved and cared for. I liked climbing trees and playing dress ups. I also liked eating strawberry ice-cream and I really didn’t like being tickled. I didn’t really notice if I was naked or had clothes on,
Real confidence is more than an emotion. It’s about a way of being. I used to think that some people were just born confident or had a really amazing childhood filled with positive affirmations from those around them, and that’s how they grew into confident adults. I personally couldn’t remember ever feeling confident in my life and I used to believe that I never would because “that’s just who I am”. If you’ve ever lacked confidence in any area of life,
Have you ever noticed a pattern in your relationships? Or maybe the fact that you’re not in a relationship but you want to be? Do you self-sabotage and stuff things up before they can get real and intimate? Or do you stop the relationship before it’s even started and find reasons not to date? Is your list of personal attributes for a partner super high, super detailed and possibly impossible for anyone to achieve? Even after you “find the one” do you still find things to criticise or ways to ensure they are continuously proving their love for you?
Have you ever got to the end of the year and felt drained, burnt out and generally in need of a holiday? But then life just keeps rolling along and before you know it, it’s a new year and everyone is already talking about their goals for the next year ahead. For years I would just push through and keep going, sometimes working through holidays that were important to me, like Christmas, Birthdays and New Year Celebrations or other times where I could have been connecting with family and friends,
Do you get emotional over the holidays? Feel stressed, overwhelmed, drained of your energy? Do you finish the year feeling like you need a real break? There’s a lot going on at this time of year, and so many demands on your time, attention and energy. It’s no wonder many people don’t get so excited about the holidays. It might even seem that expectations are high and that you need to do so much in so little time.
Do you feel lonely? Do you want to feel more connected? Many people feel lonely, or are searching for that sense of belonging to a group that resonates with them. Sometimes it’s that there have been some major life changes happening and they’ve let go of their past relationships, friendships or groups where they used to feel comfortable, and now they might not be sure where they belong anymore. Sometimes it’s that they’ve grown beyond their current groups and are looking for something different than where they’ve been before,
I used to think that there was something wrong with me and I felt as if everyone was staring at me all the time. I was so shy and I felt embarrassed of who I was. I felt as if in order for me to be able to be around others or interact in social situations, that I needed to be someone else. I would work hard to hide what I thought were my flaws,
Do you agonise over making decisions? Have you been finding it difficult to prioritise at work, or in your day to day life? Does everything seem like it’s an important decision that you’re afraid to mess up or make the wrong choice?
I used to spend so much time thinking and overthinking about every tiny choice that I felt I needed to make in my life. Whether it was about what to eat,
I was frustrated with my life. On the outside it looked like I was doing pretty well for myself. I was engaged, I had a well-paying job as a manager in a high-end restaurant and I had friends and family who loved me. But I wasn’t happy. My health had taken a backseat to my career and the weight was piling on. I didn’t know what self-care was, instead relying on wine and copious amounts of food to dull the storm of emotions that I was feeling underneath my smile.
I used to feel ashamed to ask for help. It didn’t matter whether it was a simple kind of help like asking someone to take the trash out, or a more complex kind of help, like asking someone if I could just talk to them about a problem. Either way was so uncomfortable for me, and so scary. Even if I felt like things were falling apart in my life, I would try anything and everything else first before seeking help.