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I Was Wearing A Mask

Do you ever wish you could just be yourself? Do you feel like you portray yourself differently to the outside world compared to who you are on the inside? Do you feel like you are “false” or “a fraud”?

If you do, you are not alone. I used to believe that certain personality traits were “good” and others were “bad” or just not valuable. As a small child I was emotional, living in my feelings and very vulnerable.

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Feeling Out Of Control?

When I was younger, it felt really important for me to feel in control all the time. I didn’t like uncertainty or when things did not go to plan. And definitely do not surprise me for my birthday! I used to plan my day minute by minute. I literally had a schedule for the day where I would schedule the time to get things done, but also all the little things like brushing my teeth and getting dressed or cleaning up.

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Stop Worrying So Much

I used to worry about every little thing, and I filled my brain with so many thoughts that I couldn’t distinguish between what was important and what wasn’t. As a result, decision making was a real challenge and sometimes I would spend so much energy agonising of something as simple as what to order on the menu. Have you ever done this before? Do you struggle to make decisions in your daily life, or feel like you’ve got so much going on in your mind that you don’t know which things have priority over others?

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Having A Bad Day?

I get it. I used to come home from work each day thinking things like ‘Life sucks,’ Work sucks,’ ‘I can’t do anything right,’ ‘Everyone hates me,’ ‘Nothing ever goes my way’. But if someone had asked me how my day was, I’d casually reply ‘Oh I’m just having one of those days’. As if it wasn’t affecting me as much as I really felt it was.

But really, every time I said these words to myself or thought how horrible my day was,

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I Was Filled With Regret

Mornings for me used to be hitting the snooze button and trying to stay in bed as long as possible, fantasising about how life could’ve been. That was way easier than facing the day. I just wanted to escape the monotony of getting up, going to work, going home, watching TV and going to bed.

I remember there being certain moments in my life that I could’ve made a change and I didn’t.

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I Used To Get Angry

I used to get so frustrated over the most minor things. One moment I’d be fine, I’d feel like I was keeping it together and then all of a sudden woosh! This emotion would rush up inside of me and I’d find myself speaking harshly or fussing about something like stubbing my toe or missing the train as if it was the end of the world.

If you’re anything like I used to be,

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I Hated Being Alone

I used to hate being alone. It was when I was alone that I would find myself thinking of the things that were not working in my life. I’d feel scared that no-one loved me, that no-one would EVER love me and that no-one cared.

I used to do anything not to be alone. Anything to distract myself from less than great thoughts and emotions, from feeling uncomfortable or from tough conversations. I found so many ways to distract myself from life but all the while I was still focusing on that feeling of aloneness.

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How I Overcame Fear

Have you ever felt like something is missing from your life? You’re getting up each day to go through the motions and smile and do all the things you feel you’re supposed to do, but it’s just not enough. You know there has to be more to life, but something keeps holding you back from getting it. Maybe you tell yourself to stop dreaming and to suck it up and get on with it like everyone else seems to.

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Struggle Meeting New People?

Do you ever want to make an amazing first impression so much, that you start to overthink it? Have you felt the pressure of wanting to put your best foot forward so much, that you start to put unrealistic expectations of perfection on yourself? Whether you’re dating, going to an interview or you simply want to meet new people, make some new friends or talk to someone you admire, have you been putting it off because it’s too hard?

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I Was Scared All The Time

Do you sometimes feel as if you’re just cruising through life on autopilot? You get up, go to work, make small talk with your colleagues, come home, eat dinner, sit on the couch and try to switch yourself off as you switch on the TV. Weekends are for sleeping in and catching up with friends but they never seem long enough. A part of you knows there’s more to life, but it’s easier to dream about it than to feel vulnerable facing it in real life right?

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